Thursday, March 06, 2014

Misplaced #Faith

Has anyone misplaced their faith? I hate to say lost, because I don't know that it's ever truly gone. If you believe, I feel, even in moments of "non-belief", your faith is still deep down pushing you on.

Although I could be wrong.

This year seems never-ending. The beginning has been a blur of one issue or problem after another. It's been struggles with one of my children and I feel my choices are pushing her farther from me. But at the same time, I feel I'm failing as a parent to allow her to continue the path she's been on.

On top of everything, I've been tired. A lot. I guess I'm just getting older and I can't manage like I did.

The move? Well the kids love the new home, but we're not settled yet. And even a brand new home is turning into one unexpected expense after another. I really thought they weren't supposed to do that.

2013 was a rough year. I had told myself over and over 2014 would be so much better.

So far? No dice.

I gave up my faith years ago. For a very long time. The last few years, it's been close, even when I had tried to act like it wasn't there.

Now, I'm wondering just what to think. Is it leaving me again? Am I on the wrong path?


  1. I can only speak to my life issues, which I am happy to elaborate on if you'd like...but often the things which we choose to offer energy to aren't all worthy.  

    For example someone waiting for an insurance approval for a treatment that means a lot. Stress over the denial & resubmitting could add to that person's pain level in a real &  direct way.  Naturally there is a rainbow of feelings here, but for the sake of this post.... 

    Feeling defeated and becoming even just slightly jaded can feel so horrible. Two steps forward one back.  It's maddening. 

    Yet, do these feelings make things better for you, family, friends, animals in the house...air floating around?  Nope. 

    When I feel an avalanche coming or I got my top limit for "life's lessons" I stop myself and remind myself; I will not waste what pool of energy I have on anything that doesn’t need it.  

    Oh sure it sounds simple, but it's so hard. Once I let go, faith filled me again in a way I had missed that I didn't know I could feel that way.  

    I love my family and I think of them constantly, but I let worry out the window. I'm not there that moment. I cannot change the outcome of so much. If a doorknob breaks...I can't travel back in time. New house? Triple if you can just in case cash for the tiny things one would assume is standard. 

    So I wish good energy, and force the doubt, worry, stress, negative out. I am proactive for myself only because I can only control me.  I force myself to choose how I will deal with something by taking 5 minutes, heck 1 minute before I even speak.  Those worked for me and helped me see that the slump I was in had more to do with frame than anything else. 

    Am I making any sense?  I hope I'm not way off the mark lol. 

    Xoxo Sarah 

  2. I think I just had enough when everything hit at once and just won't pass. None of it. I try so hard to stay positive or my kids. With three teens in the house, I'm outnumbered and it's beginning to show.

    Maybe tomorrow it's time for a family meeting. We haven't had one in quite a while and maybe a refresher for them on positive attitudes and positive behavior would go a long was for us all. :)


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